The internet just turned 40 years old. One would think there would be more known about the “wild west” of the online community by now. It seems that no matter how much research is done on every topic from online dating to the business effectiveness of social media the world just can’t agree what to think of this new frontier of building relationships.

There are a number of questions about online relationships; such as, could the ambiguousness of our online presence come from the fact that the majority of the information on the web one places there about themselves? How can there be valuable relationships developed when there is a keyboard and a monitor in the way?

There’s Linked In, Twitter, Facebook, Blogger, and a host of other opportunities for people to connect and to tell the world exactly who they are; or at least who they want others to think that they are. If educational institutions won’t allow most online citations as credible sources can people trust these modalities when building a relationship?

The answer is yes, building a new relationship is scary, but have courage and hope. The components of relationship development are the same no matter what the modality. One can not control another person’s motive, the best one can do is use every skill available in the process; self-disclosure, active listening, staying present, and building trust.



On or off line relationships are tricky and require risk and effort. With great risk and effort comes great reward; have courage, be purposeful, honest, and authentic without forming judgment or trying to control the other person. The results will yield transparency, strength, and fulfillment in any relationships.